In September 2013, aged 47, I was diagnosed HIV+ after a severe array of opportunistic infections, later named ‘Acute Hiv’ by the HIV-consultant who was assigned to me after I saw an HIV specialist. I was very upset.
I told her I had had the same illnesses earlier, in March of that year, but she just smiled at me and told me that that must have been the flu. I looked at her in disbelief (opportunistic infections have way more vigour than flu). She then told me that I was probably infected by both, at that time known, HIV strains. She told me to only consult specific websites, (which did not answer my questions at all).
I was not too concerned at that time because my CD4 and viral load counts were both okay. I had expected to get medication but the specialist saw no urgency. And I was sent home with an invitation for a big party for HIV Pozzers in Amsterdam’s Carré Theatre, called “A New Moon”. “Chemo doesn’t get you parties”, a friend, who once had breast-cancer before, remarked.
So a few more tests followed, every 6 months. Levels went up, levels went down. Specialists were worried, specialists were happy again (I got 3 different doctors in 18 months time!).
“Yes I have safe sex all the time, Oh! I turn my head away when I see porn without a condom..!”.
Then an interesting thing happened, in April 2014 in the Netherlands. A Dutch doctor who developed a homoeopathic medicine against HIV/AIDS, and who had treated more than 800.000 Kenyans successfully, was awarded a royal decoration by our King William Alexander. “Stop Aids Now”, to my surprise, responded angrily in the media, and used its influence to get members of parliament to ask our president whether the proper protocol had been used in giving this knighthood.
This made me wonder, I started searching the Internet and found that there is a patent on the HIV-test but there is no patent on HIV! In the development of drugs against viruses like SARS, Ebola etc. the pharmaceutical industry gets a shared patent on the pathogen before allied research investments advance. Why did HIV never get patented? Well at the patent office one has to prove that the virus you point at actually does what you say it does but that proof, after 35 years, still does not exist.
Then I understood why ingredients of more then one company are put in antiretroviral drugs – ARVs and why my HIV-specialist sent me to my HIV-consultant (who is just a nurse) with all my more complicated questions. Not out of some idealistic shared effort against evil but to push liability off the cliff.
Google is not much of a help for a HivPoz who doubts the HIV/AIDS-paradigma, Wikipedia even less, You Tube gets you where you want fastest in your search for truth. The far more logical and scientific explanations of Duesberg and Mullis had me walking on thin air of relief for a week! Yes: I was using drugs at the time I got ill, and had poor eating and living habits. Solutions were simple, I never ate fruit much before so smoothies were the answer.
To name someone a denialist whose arguments one cannot disprove only exposes the disability of the namer. A radio program by Gary Null and Jon Rappoport on YouTube was the last piece in my puzzle. Once the nocebo-effect of HIV wears off on you, one loses a lot of stress. You get your own chi back! You get thrown back on your own feet as well and can be surprised how much self pity is involved in this process. Self-pity can be a huge trap!
My friends who do take ARVs feel and look miserable all the time. DNA-altering medicine seriously deforms you. You won’t hear them talk about it, and that is not because they are being healed…
I turned my back on the HIV-consultants. On the face book ‘Rethinking Aids group’ one reads very funny stories of people cracking up their doctors every 6 months, but I function bad as a hypocrite so I quit doing that.
Upset e-mails and calls followed but I don’t feel like educating my doctors. I’m sure they can get on-line themselves easily. I’m not mad at them, just happy I’m not in their shoes.