I am a 25 year old, gay male with many future plans. I’m attending school as a meteorology major, something I’ve been passionate in since the age of 7. I’ve done endless research on many topics, especially things that piqued my interest. Meteorology being number one followed closely by botany (particularly palm trees). So it was only natural to start researching what I could about HIV/AIDS when I tested positive.
It was a week before my 24th birthday (Feb 2016). I just met the man of my dreams around Christmas and we spent a lot of time together. While working two jobs, I constantly complained about my finances so he suggested I start donating plasma at the local center for extra cash. I jumped on the opportunity and went in the next day for my first donation.
I went through all the paperwork and answered all of pesky questions. They checked my weight, my blood pressure, and pricked my finger for a blood sample. They would contact me in a week with the results. A week went by and I went in as usual to give my third donation. Little did I know my entire life would change from that day forward.
I walked in and waited unusually long to be seen. After about 30 minutes the centers nurse called me in and told me I tested positive for HIV antibodies. They didn’t want to alarm me, but politely informed me that I could not donate plasma. I was crushed because everything I have ever heard about HIV was terrible. I lived a crazy alcohol fueled life in the past and have made many stupid decision, but never did I think I would have to worry about HIV.
I hadn’t been to the doctor since the age of 15. I moved out of my mom’s house around that time and into my grandparents’ home down the street. I started working at a local restaurant as a sophomore while attending high school. My first high school crush was a senior but I was very shy and never even thought about sex. He moved away the following year and I finally decided to come out to my family.
I’ve always been the romantic type, so one night stands were never a thing. I grew comfortable in my new skin and started dating. I graduated high school and started making friends. I went to a local club every Thursday and eventually fell in love with a 26 year old police officer in August 2011. I was in that relationship for almost 3 years until we broke it off. After that I started dating again and had a handful of sexual encounters. I had unprotected sex with one person out of the four I dated.
I met Joe shortly after Christmas night of 2015. So when I got the positive antibody test two months later, I thought the relationship was over. I felt depressed and even quit one of my jobs because I was so worried about my life with HIV. He assured me he would stick by my side and we would get through this together. A week after the news from the plasma center, I went to a local clinic and ordered an HIV test.
They informed me that they would call if the test came back positive. After a week, I still didn’t receive any calls but I wanted to make sure. When I called the office, they told me that they were unable to complete the test because my blood sample was compromised. I was confused and asked what that meant. Apparently a technician broke the vial containing my blood and they could draw another sample at no charge.
I am a very impatient person, so I was enraged at the thought of waiting any longer for results. But with no other options, I went back for another needle. A week later they called and scheduled a follow up; I was HIV positive and they confirmed it with a second test. As the lady told me the news I zoned off and thought of my life living with this disease. How would my family treat me, what would my friends think? I didn’t want Joe to have to deal with this. A lesbian couple who I was close friends with wanted me to be their donor so they could have a child. I would certainly have to break the news to them because I didn’t want to risk infecting them or their child. My life was turned upside down.
It’s been a year, and I have not been back to the doctors for blood work. I refused to see a specialist and start any medication. I’m still with Joe and he has been tested routinely the past year all with negative results (which is crazy because all the sex we have is unprotected). I have contacted every person I have ever had sexual contact with and to my surprise everyone is tested regularly, all are negative, and all are in good health.
I have so many questions. By no means am I promiscuous so how did I contract HIV? Everyone I’ve ever slept with is negative, so how it is possible I have this? Why is Joe not infected if we continue to have unprotected sex? Surely after a year he would contract this virus, right? I though of the possibility of a false positive, but that would only ease my mind. Not the minds of the millions of people living with this lie and easily seduced into taking toxic pills for relief. I’ve read that the HIV antibody is cross-reactive to many other agents. Things like having a cold, pregnancy, even being African American can result in a positive antibody test. I would like to point out I am a mix of African American and Caucasian. There are multiple articles challenging the accuracy of these so called HIV antibody tests. Magic Johnson has lived a healthy life after publicly coming out as HIV positive. Is he the only man on Earth that can receive treatment without complications?
I am an extremely anxious person, so every time I get sick I start thinking the worst. Any unusual bump or rash I believe is connected to this virus. But now, I think it’s all in my head. Every article I’ve read has scared me so much that surely my sore throat can somehow be linked to cancer (and has everything to do with HIV). After a year of searching online, I am so glad that I came across this page. I have realized that the HIV craze is full of scientific holes and makes less sense the more I read. I feel a sense of relief that there are many people out there refusing the drugs and living healthy lives.
Thank you for reading. I hope one day everyone will realize the truth about HIV. The question isn’t whether or not it’s real, rather is it a deadly virus or another profitable antigen.